finding love isn't as nice as i think

mmm...actually i'm so shy to tell it in this blog. However i really want to share my experience to all of you, who never find love you want like your friends have had.

sebetulnya agak memalukan siy di umur gw yang menuju 'zona kuning' (bukan belom zona merah sodara2!) gw baru ngrasain punya kabogoh. Eiittsss..bukan berarti gw gak laku loh bo...tapi gw amat selektif mencari 'kumbang2' unggul di tengah 'kumbang' yg mendekati mahkota gw (halah!!!apaan siy bu?!!!),huhehehehe...so, selama ini, kalo ada cowok CCP ke gw, gw cuma berpikir:apaan siy ni cowok?!..I just think about my life, my family, and my study. my life di sini maksudnya karir gw, cita2 gw, pokoknya semua ambisi gw deh...except about love

in brief, after 2 years having contact with me, ada seorang cowok yg nembak gw. Hyakakakak...gw mikir, ok inilah waktunya gw ganti status gw, baik secara nyata maupun maya(maksudnya di fs ama facebook gituuu...). Anyway, setelah gw jalanin beberapa hari, gw merasa aneh juga. yg tadinya gw gak bisa perhatian ama orang, sekarang gw harus perhatian ama kabogoh gw. ga mikir: udah ngabisin pulsa (gw langsung LDR loh), bikin eneg sendiri lagi bacanya...gw mulai gerah...

trus, pas lagi di rumah bonyok, bonyok+adek gw tau lah kalo gw punya 'sesuatu' dgn cowok itu. Bokap gw keliatan gak seneng gitu, dy takut gw nglupain kuliah (daddy, i won't do that! i promise!). karena gw ngrasa gak nyaman, gak enak ama keluarga gw, actually i don't know to love someone. tapi gw bukan lesbi!!!!gw terlalu kaku dengan prinsip gw aja! gw berprinsip kalo gw gak boleh pacarn sebelom selese kuliah...

so, di suatu malam minggu di depok, i told him that i wasn't comfort with this relationship. I told him about my principles. Thanks God, he could understand what i said and he agreed just to be friend...

maybe u think it's so usual. what makes it unusual is it happened in one week!yup, gw cuma pacaran seminggu!hyakakakak.....udah pertama kali, seminggu pula, dan malam mingguan itu adalah the first and the last with him. I don't know if someday i can love him like he does to me or i can get someone better than him .... sadis ya gw? i don't care what you think...i just wanna be free!

love...please wait for me!

if i have to love him, i have to love him like he does to me
if i have to hate him, i have to hate him like he doesn't do to me
if i have to consider him as friend, i have to be his friend like he wants to
;)